Before you ask, no, this isn’t a post about Nike or indeed anything sporty but then knowing me, you probably guessed that! Just Do It is what we all need to do when we’re considering whether to do something but aren’t quite sure whether we should or not. Just doing anything is not something that comes naturally to those of us who are anxious and being told to just do it or just give it a go is truly unhelpful, so why am I saying it?! Hypocrite? Maybe. But go with me on this. This is a specific Just Do It.
Are you wanting to compliment someone or thank them for helping you in some way but aren’t sure whether to do so? Just Do It. Are you considering emailing a blogger or commenting on something that matters to you? Just Do It. Are you wanting to tell someone you care about them or wondering how they are? Just Do It. You might be worried that you won’t express it well, that they’ll think you’re silly or that it won’t matter to them if you do it or not, I often receive messages from people saying just that, that they’ve probably not explained properly, or I must hear it all the time, or that it may not mean much. I think this too but what a lot of assumptions we all make about other people’s lives. When people message me they seem to assume that they’re one in a huge string of people that I get emails from or that they’re the latest in a long line of people who’ve commented but this isn’t the case. Even if it were, each message would mean exactly the same to me, but the truth is I receive about one or two messages a week from people thanking me for my blog, telling me the difference something I’ve done has made to their life, or telling me how much they love a book that I’ve recommended. I can honestly say that these brighten my life for hours, if not days!
Blogging is very odd, it’s faceless and feels quite anonymous even though I’ve put a face to the blog a number of times and you all know that I’m Lucy, 26, with various mental illnesses and an unhealthy obsession with colouring and buying pencil sets! But I don’t know all of you. I don’t know who’s reading, who you are, your name, your life story, your conditions, your hobbies, what mood you’re in when you’re reading this, what your reasons are for reading this, I don’t know anything about you. Writing a blog is like writing a message in a bottle and setting it off on its journey into the sea, you just write and hope for the best. I’m always a little nervous that it might reach someone on a bad day and make them feel worse, that they might follow my recommendation for a book but then hate it or that my experience may be so different from theirs that my description angers them enough that they tell me. You can probably see now why receiving messages of thanks are so important to me because I get to know a little bit about one of my readers, I hear that you’re struggling too, that I explained something you couldn’t, that you now feel less alone, that you’ve found another wonderful book to colour in or you’ve found the perfect pencils for your aching hands. Hearing from readers of my blogs makes all of this worthwhile, it gives me a purpose and spurs me on to keep writing.
It’s hard to send these messages sometimes. I often want to get in touch with people who I miss or haven’t spoken to in a while or even get in touch with artists to thank them for their work and I rarely ever Just Do It because I feel scared, worried I won’t get a reply, worried it’s silly or that it won’t mean anything and many more random worries. But, I try to think about how I feel when people send me these messages, when a friend who I’ve not heard from in months or even years gets in touch to see how I’m doing, when a reader contacts me or when someone sees something that reminds them of me and gets in touch, just because. I can safely say that I’ve never wished they hadn’t, I’ve never received a positive message that I’ve felt was silly or wasted. I’ve appreciated every single one. I’m sure most, if not all, of you are the same. Negative thoughts or opinions are very welcome to be kept to ourselves but positive things and feelings should definitely be shared. I don’t know if it’s a British thing or if it’s universal but we’re far quicker to criticise or comment than to compliment or thank others. It’s just not what we do. We suck at taking compliments too, if someone says we look nice we’ll tell the person it’s good make-up or a great hairdresser or a flattering dress that was a bargain. It’s never because we look nice that we get compliments, it’s because of what we’ve bought to alter our appearance. It’s quite sad when you think about it. Today for example, I received a wonderful compliment about my photography, I don’t think much of my photography right now so before I’d even finished reading the comment I’d already decided that it was very kind but not true, that it was all luck and nothing to do with me. In writing this post I’ve realised this simply isn’t true. This next bit would probably sound big-headed but remember it’s being written by someone with self-confidence through the floor who doesn’t often believe they have talent. My instinct to this lovely comment was to dismiss it as either luck that I got those shots or that it was something anyone could have done, but I’ve had a proper think and I’ve realised that yes, luck does have a part to play, especially in nature photography, you can’t take a photo of something that isn’t there, however, thanks to my anxiety, I do have a great knack for noticing birds that others wouldn’t, I have patience to wait and take heaps of photos knowing that just a handful will be usable, I have great vision which helps me notice the slightest of movements and I’m starting to be able to identify flight patterns and songs of birds so I can work out if they’re things I want to photograph or if it’s yet another pigeon! These things are taking time and effort and, I’ll reluctantly admit, skill. I’m certainly not going to be able to sell photographs any time soon but I can see that in just one month since getting my camera I’m already improving and learning loads and that I need to take these compliments rather than just putting it down to luck or the camera I’m using.
You might now be starting to see why it’s so important to Just Do It when it comes to complimenting people or thanking them. Many of us with mental health problems have low self-confidence and low self-esteem and we often don’t believe in ourselves or think very nice thoughts. While we may not believe things from others, or it may take time to sink in, it’s always lovely to hear those things because eventually it does start to sink in and we realise that maybe we aren’t so bad and maybe we are making a difference or do have some good qualities. Remember all of this next time you’re considering sending a message and Just Do It. It won’t do any harm, and you might just make that person’s day, certainly whenever I receive such a message it really does brighten my day and often leads to me crying happy tears because I don’t really think much of what I’m doing and it’s wonderful hearing that I can make such a difference even to just one person who’s struggling. No matter what it is that you’re thinking of sending, even if it’s been a really long time since you were last in touch, stop thinking, get writing and Just Do It.