Just to give you all a bit of background about this post – The charity Rethink Mental Illness recently advertised for people in the UK with a mental illness to participate in a nationwide project that they are running called A Day in the Life. They chose 4 dates over a year, 1 in each season, for all of us who’ve signed up to blog up to 700 words about our day. We were asked to say what we did that day, what went well and went badly, and what helped our mental health and what made it worse, so here’s mine for the third day, the 10th of May. Here you can find day one and two.
Today I woke up late. Only by an hour but it always throws me off kilter as I like to keep to my routine. I got up and weighed myself which I do every morning as I’m on a diet. I’d put on weight, only a little but still, my heart sank. I showered, dressed and made myself a cup of tea. I’m on the 5:2 diet, though in my case it keeps turning into the 4:3 diet because I struggle to lose weight when I’m so sedentary due to being virtually housebound. Every time I gain weight I get anxious and feel like I’ve failed. This is the instant reaction thanks to the leftovers of an eating disorder that I had when I was 18. I try really hard to not obsess about my weight and food because I know that’s my passport back to anorexia but it’s hard to keep those thoughts at bay, particularly when I don’t have much else going on in my life to distract me. I’d already decided that today would be one of my low calorie days this week so I drank lots of water and tea throughout the day and waited til dinner to eat. I kept myself busy enough and tried to ignore the fact it’s a weekend which means my boyfriend is working and there’s nothing decent to watch on tv. Weekends are so boring when you’re home alone all the time.
Anyway, I did what I could to keep myself busy. I’ve set up a new blog which I published today which I’m using to post reviews of adult colouring books. I’ve found them to be one of the few things that really helps keep me calm and my mind occupied and when the craze exploded a couple of months ago I was really pleased to see that so many other like-minded people were popping up online. It’s hard for me to choose which books I want to buy because I can’t leave the house and flick through them in bookshops and so I searched online for some reviews but couldn’t find anything detailed enough to be able to commit to buying them (money’s tight so the last thing I want to do is waste it on a book I don’t like). I’m reliant on the “look inside” feature on Amazon but many books don’t have that and it’s just not the same as going and looking at it yourself. So, I came up with the idea to contact publishers and ask if I could be sent copies of their books to review so that I can give an accurate portrayal to all of my mentally ill readers on my blog, particularly those who might be housebound and so far, a couple of them have agreed. I spent a lot of today colouring in one of my new books and then writing and posting the review which can be found here if you’re interested https://colouringinthemidstofmadness.wordpress.com/2015/05/10/the-cant-sleep-colouring-book-a-review/
I spent the evening having a lovely chat with my mum on the phone, putting the world to rights and having a really good catch up which really cheered me up and then had a delicious dinner and spent the evening watching tv with my boyfriend. I was very distracted and found it hard to focus on things because I’ve got a lot going on at the moment that I need to keep on top of with contacting publishers as well as lots of crafty projects and doctor’s appointments and other things I’ve probably forgotten. I felt quite wired in the evening but did manage to settle once I’d sent some emails, blogged and done some more colouring so I’m hoping I’ll get to sleep at a decent time tonight.
Colouring, blogging, my mum and boyfriend helped my mental health today. Boredom, as usual, was my nemesis as well as memory problems and general anxiety but I did ok and I kept on top of it all. The battle begins again tomorrow.